


Danger By Default

by KB9VCN



Category: UTAU
Genre: Adventure, Gen, Her middle initial is B, Her name is Utane - Uta Utane, Humor, One Shot, The B stands for BADASS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 17:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18665413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: Published 30-Apr-2019; humor; exactly 1000 words (by my count).This could have been much longer, but I've been kicking the concept around for too long already.  It was time to write out what I had and move on.This contains Exactly What It Says On The Tin.  Reader discretion is advised.





	Danger By Default

**Author's Note:**

> Published 30-Apr-2019; humor; exactly 1000 words (by my count).
> 
> This could have been much longer, but I've been kicking the concept around for too long already. It was time to write out what I had and move on.
> 
> This contains Exactly What It Says On The Tin. Reader discretion is advised.

Teto walked up to the front door of Ruko's coffee house, and found Defoko reading a handwritten note taped to the door. "What's that?" Teto asked.

Defoko stood aside so that Teto could read Ruko's note for herself:

**"OPEN AT NOON"**   
**"[I AM LE TIRED](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCpjgl2baLs&t=45s)"**

An extra personal message was written at the bottom of the note:

"P.S. TETO, DON'T CALL ME TO WAKE ME UP. I'VE TURNED OFF MY MOBILE."

"It must be nice to set your own hours," Teto muttered. "But then, she's only lost two customers so far."

Defoko held up a hand in parting, and began to walk away. "Er, Defoko?" said Teto. "Are you, um, busy?"

Defoko turned back and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't have any other plans, and I was wondering if I could hang out with you until Ruko opens," Teto said with a friendly smile. "We spend a lot of time with Momo, and with all the other UTAUs at the coffeehouse, but it's hardly ever just the two of us. And you're always quietly tagging along with the rest of us. We could do whatever you want to do for a change."

Defoko stared blankly at Teto, but then she gave Teto a thumbs-up.

"Then it's settled," Teto said. "Would you like to go somewhere else?"

—

"THIS ISN'T WHAT I HAD IN MIND!!" Teto screamed as she clung to the sidecar of Defoko's motorcycle while Defoko drove with reckless abandon.

Defoko glanced at her and gave her another thumbs-up, and then took a few sharp turns in rapid succession that left Teto's stomach in her throat.

And then, they blew through the obligatory "BRIDGE OUT" signs and road-construction barricades. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Teto screamed as Defoko jumped the gap effortlessly.

Defoko pulled into an empty parking lot in the city warehouse district. She spun to a stop near an industrial-park office and shut off the engine.

"EEEEEEEE— oh," said Teto. "What are we doing here?"

Defoko shushed her as they sneaked up to the office door. "Be quiet after we break in," she said, finally speaking. "If we are found, we are lost."

Teto blinked in confusion. "If we're FOUND, then HOW can we be—"

Defoko frowned at her. "Sorry," Teto whispered. "What are we DOING here?"

"Infiltrating the operation," Defoko said as she picked the lock on the door.

"WHAT operation!?" Teto asked as she followed Defoko inside the building.

And then, she looked around the office, and found that it was filled with banks of computers, walls covered with maps and charts, and tables stacked with assorted weapons, gold and silver bars, and foreign currency.

"Oh, THIS operation," Teto said. "Do you know if anyone else is here?"

As if on cue, they were suddenly surrounded by more than a dozen female enemy agents in all-black uniforms. The agents assumed fighting poses as if they were advanced martial-arts experts.

Teto raised her hands immediately. "WE SURRENDER!!" she cried.

Defoko silenly reached into her Hammerspace, whipped out her trusty grenade launcher, and leveled it at the nearest agent.

"Oh," Teto said. "I guess we DON'T surrender."

And then, every one of the female agents reached into their own Hammerspaces and whipped out grenade launchers of their own. Realizing that she was completely outgunned, Defoko calmly set her weapon on the floor and raised her hands.

"Oh," Teto said again. "I guess we do after all."

—

Some time later, Teto and Defoko found themselves bound hand and foot and lying on the floor of a cargo plane that was headed southeast across the Pacific Ocean.

"What are we going to DO!?" a terrified Teto cried. "I don't WANNA spend the rest of my life in a prison camp on an uncharted island in the far-distant south Pacific!!"

Defoko, apparently having escaped her bonds some time earlier after all, quickly untied Teto.

"Um, thanks," Teto said as she rubbed her wrists. "Are you going to commandeer the plane?"

"No," Defoko said matter-of-factly. "I'm going to blow it up."

"Oh," Teto said. "WAIT, WHAT!? You can't blow it up while we're in it!!"

"Of course not," Defoko said. "We have to jump out of it first."

"Oh," Teto said again. "WAIT, WHAT!? We need parachutes!!"

"No we don't," Defoko said just before she grabbed Teto and jumped through an open hatch.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Teto screamed again.

"Teto?" said Defoko. "You're a half-chimera. You can fly."

"Oh, right." Teto manifested her chimera wings and took flight— and Defoko fell away from her.

"TETO?" Defoko called out as she plummeted towards certain death. "I'M NOT A HALF-CHIMERA. I CAN'T FLY."

Teto swooped down and caught up her friend. "Sakes, Defoko! Wait, weren't you going to blow up the plane?"

"On a timer," Defoko added.

All of the enemy agents, apparently having just found Defoko's bomb, jumped from the plane with parachutes.

"About now," Defoko added.

And then, the plane exploded.

"What about the enemy agents?" Teto asked as she flew back towards the coast of Japan.

"The Coast Guard will pick them up," Defoko said. "Take me back to the operation office, please."

"Why?" Teto asked. "Can't the police or the government shut it down?"

"No," Defoko said. "I have to blow it up too."

"Oh," Teto said. "I'm not even going to ask how or why."

"And we also need to pick up my motorcycle," Defoko said.

"No offense," Teto said, remembering her earlier ride in the sidecar, "but I think I'll fly back to Ruko's instead."

—

Some more time later, an exhausted Teto walked into Ruko's coffeehouse. Defoko was already standing at the counter and sipping Ruko's first sale of the day.

"Hi Teto!" said a well-rested Ruko. "What can I get for you?"

"A hot chocolate," Teto said anxiously, "and a hug." She walked up to her best friend and clung to her.

A concerned Ruko returned her hug and patted her head, and then she looked up and silently glanced at Defoko.

Defoko innocently shrugged her shoulders and took another sip of coffee.


End file.
